Jerusalem's Next Top Parrot

Damn the changeling weather! I have nothing against the sun in its rightful place. Which would be THE SUMMER. If I wanted to partake in that season right now, I would go to Australia. Northern-Hemisphere dweller that I am, I want my money's worth of freezing cold weather, thank you very much. So hopefully the rogue heatwave is over and chilly service will be resumed shortly. Meanwhile, even though it is not currently cold enough to necessitate using the oven as a heater, I have been cooking up lots of weird and wonderful new foodstuffs while keeping a lazy eye on the current crop of reality horrors served up to local cable subscribers by Star World, the televisual equivalent of MonoSodium Glutamate. Top Trash is currently pretty-boy fest "Manhunt", (Spoiler here, if anyone cares. Didn't think so) followed by the bizarre and brainless "Outback Jack". (I don't get how that even qualifies as reality: He's not called Jack! He's not from the Outback! The contestants are clearly all down actresses type-cast accordingly: Annoying, More Annoying, dizzy, bitchy, "intellectual", narcissistic, blah blah blah blah)

Anyway, I imagine had it not been for the slow-burning build-up of Reality Bacteria which I have willingly ingested over the last year (leaving a party to catch the Paradise Hotel final, anyone?) I would not have taken quite as much interest in this weekend's paper. There was a prominent article detailing the horrors of what is about to hit Israeli TV Screens: "HaDumgmaniot" -The Models. (Why they haven't just put themselves out there as "Israel's Next Top Model" is anyone's guess- maybe they think that with a less giveaway name, Tyra Banks won't notice this rip-off quite as quickly as the somewhat cannier Donald Trump did?) So yes, this series looks set to be absolutely dreadful, full of women you just want to punch, spewing the type of crap that even reading their quotes in a newspaper causes me to seriously consider distancing myself from this country. That said, I doubt very much I will be able to resist watching some of it: this genre (sic) has been named Car Crash Television for a good reason.

Well, at least I'll be in the company of my good friends Chardonnay and Emerald Riesling, which -rather delightfully- were on special offer this week. Although tonight I'll be raising my glass to celebrate the happiness of people I actually know: so for one night only, I might actually enjoy some real "reality". Cheers!