Last of the Summer Rain?

So did anyone even notice I was gone? I'll not be offended if the answer is "no": I know everyone is preoccupied what with post-war war zones, rising regional tensions, political scandal-du-jour, passionfruit overkill and all the other things I REALLY didn't hanker after on my little trip back to the Land of Hope and Glory.

So I've now returned from the land of my birth armed with an (ever-decreasing) bag of choice chocolates and crisps, some hastily grabbed Primark/George-at-ASDA plunder and a fantastic Snow Patrol CD. Which was a tough call, being as there was a veritable glut of good music coming through the UK airwaves. (Be thankful for it, UK Residents! The first thing I heard on the radio when I returned here was Britney sodding Spears- and it all went downhill from there.) Anyway, SP's ubiquitous anthem "Chasing Cars" was the straw which broke the Parrot's back to convince me to part with my moolah. (And it would seem, everyone else- the guy at the HMV in Heathrow cheerily informed me that I was the 19th person to buy their album that morning. At 7.12 am.) And what with the exchange rate being as it is, I'll now be eating a diet of just vegetables until my next paycheck. But hey, at least I'll get to feast to good music - and the fond memories of driving a posh car across England's various motorways with it playing. All I need now is an Eddie Stobart miniature and a couple of cones and I can recreate the entire experience in my own kitchen.

And yes, I did just say "Posh Car". I love those hire car people. I should have known it was going to be a good trip, when I stumbled off the plane into this situation:

Car Hire Person- "Here you go, Madam" (btw- when did I become a "Madam"??!) "Choose any car you want from Row A. Just get in and drive off. Yes, it really is that easy! Bye now!"

PP- Somewhat nonplussed - "Erm, sorry to bother you, but I can only see one car in Row A and there's a couple with a baby getting into it now, if you look..."

CHP - "Ah so there is. Well, right, Madam, well, you have a choice. You can either wait for 3 hours when we're due to get the... let me check... Skoda... back, or you can get a complimentary upgrade to that new Vauxhall in Row D".

PP- *Disbelieving splutter, followed by squeaky "Thanks!" in an attempt to regain dignity as befitting a "Madam", before zooming off*

Oh, it was a lovely few days... Even though my understanding of English has clearly slipped in all these years upon Holy Soil, as I failed to fully comprehend the instructions on my friends' wedding invitation: "Please dress for an English Summer". Indeed. Well, it's all about individual perception, isn't it- and I'd like to extend my particular thanks to the kind gent who lent me his jacket, and didn't complain for the 4 hours he didn't get it back. At least next time I'll know to bring my own coat, gloves, umbrella, thermal vest, etc.

And now I have returned to the land of crocs and craziness, to a car who obviously knows I've been unfaithful with a posh English relation- rewarding my attentions with an indignant flat tyre and a broken radio. And the only rainfall in summer to be currently found in these parts is... the name of the ongoing military operation in Gaza. Well I guess that is a salient sign as any that my holidays are over, and that it is time to get back to business as usual.

I think I'll just have another Minstrel before I begin.